Today sees Nintendo’s 300th release for the Wii’s Virtual console. Blimey, about 280 of those must have passed us by...

300 games in and still no sign of the mighty Plok! That’s as big a puzzle as it is an outrageous travesty – especially as Nintendo seems bent on re-issuing titles that nobody gave much of a chuff about the first time around instead of mining the archives for proper gems. To wit today’s pairing, both of which arrive as part of the ongoing Hanabi Festival series.

Smash Table Tennis began life as a Konami arcade game but made the leap to NES in 1987. A full range of spin-tastic shots are at your disposal and you’ll spot Donkey Kong Jr in the audience – look, there he is on the right! Otherwise it’s basic looking beyond belief and, well, it’s flipping ping-pong innit? It’s 600 Points.

Eminently more appealing is Musha, which stands for Metallic Uniframe Super Hybrid Armour (as if you didn’t know). It’s a vertical shoot ‘em up of the true old school – i.e. fast-paced, somewhat repetitive and hard. It also boasts one of the pumpingest soundtracks ever committed to silicon. Is that even a word? It’ll costs you 900 Wii Points to find out.

Moving on, and there’s one each for Wiiware and DSiWare. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a Dark Lord on Wii is a sequel to “My Life as a King” and casts players as the gothic-lolita daughter of the titular chap, tasked with protecting her towering homestead from invading adventurers. The strategic emplacement of guardian monsters and fiendish traps is the name of this fun game. 1000 points seems a fair price

Meanwhile for DSi there’s A Little Bit of Puzzle League. It’s a block-swapper where single players try to line up three or more of the same colour to make them disappear before the pile reaches the top of the screen. It’s moderately diverting and increasingly frantic stuff, even if the uber-modern livery lacks the character of past iterations (Panel de Pon and Pokemon Puzzle League). There are four gameplay modes on offer too. Not bad for a piffling 500 points.