Okay, so that isn’t Nintendo’s official line on Mazza’s back-story, and the little fella is, and likely will remain, enviably ageless in all his videogame outings. It’s probably better that way too. However that hasn’t stopped others from letting their imaginations run riot.

Take conceptual artist Anthony Jones. In his view Mario is a haggard, distinctly mean-looking fifty-something who has only recently kicked his addiction to the popular drug ‘Star’. That’s a little more than his brother Luigi could manage, though, as his sunken eyes, and ghostly pallour attest. Meanwhile Bowser is portrayed as a sharp-suited mobster who has helped helped a vampish and alarmingly buxom Princess Peach to the top of the showbiz ladder. Erk!

Scorsese couldn’t have written it better. Although we doubt that Nintendo will be redrafting the script of the next Mario Bros. outing along such gritty lines. But there’s no faulting the quality of Jones’ artwork - and it’s a million times better/less frightening than the last attempt to make Mario look real (also pictured). Shudder...