Unlockable - Unlock items |
| Snowman | Beat Arcade Level "Damn Cold Out Here" |
| Nobby Peters | Beat Arcade Level "Toy Soldiers" |
| Hans | Beat Arcade Level "Freak Unique" |
| Nurse Sputum | Beat Arcade Level "Missile Bunker" |
| Venus | Beat Arcade Level "Bag Slag" |
| Deadwina | Beat Arcade Level "I like the Dead People" |
| Booty Guard | Beat Arcade Level "Zany Zeppeling" |
| Dozer | Beat Arcade Level "Lip Up Fatty" |
| Neophyte Constance | Beat Arcade Level "Freak Unique" |
| The Master | Beat Arcade Level "Divine Immolation" |
| Leonid | Beat Arcade Level "Commanding Will Kill You" |
| Captain Ed Shivers | Beat Arcade Level "Pirate Gold" |
| Fergal Stack | Beat Arcade Level "Virtual Brutality" |
| Prometheus SK/8 | Beat Arcade Level "Virtual Brutality" |
| Koozer Mox | Beat Arcade Level "A Pox Of Mox" with at least a bronze medal. |
| Leo Krupps | Beat Arcade Level "Rumble in the Jungle" |
| Jacque de la Morte | Beat Arcade Level "Vamping in Venice" |
| Vlad the Installer | Beat Arcade Level "Big Game Hunt" |
| Candi Skyler | Complete League Challenge "Screw Loose" with a Bronze or higher |
| The General | Complete Story Level "Time to Split" on easy or higher |
| Ghengis Kant | Complete Story Level "Machine Wars" on Easy or higher |
| Gilbert Gastric | Complete challenge "The Cat's Pajamas" with a Bronze or higher |
| GOLIATH SD/9 | Complete story level "Something to Crow About" on Easy or higher |
| Gaston Boucher | Complete story level "Mansion of Madness" on normal or higher |
| Swinging Tipper | Complete story level "The Russian Connection" on easy or higher |
| Goddard | Beat Cut-Out Shoot-Out Challenge, "Come Hell or High Water" |
| Badass Cyborg | Beat Cut-Out Shoot-Out Challenge "Balls of Steel" |
| Cardboard Characters | Beat Cut-Out Shoot-Out Challenge, "Hart Attack" |
| Viola | Beat Cut-Out Shoot-Out Challenge, "Hart Attack" |
| Rotating Heads | Beat Behead the Undead Challenge, "Brain Drain" |
| Aztec Warrior | Beat Super Smashing Great Challenge, "Avec Le Brique" |
| Brains | Beat Behead the Undead Challenge, "Brain Drain" |
| Carrion Carcass | Beat Behead the Undead Challenge, "Rare or Well Done?" |
| Tin-Legs Tommy | Beat Behead the Undead Challenge, "Boxing Clever" |
| Brick Weapon | Beat Super Smashing Great Challenge, "Queen of Hearts" |
| Paintball Cheat | Beat Super Smashing Great Challenge, "Absolutely Potty" |
| Oleg | Beat the TSUG: Timesplitters Underground challenge with a bronze or higher. |
| Mr. Socky | Complete 'Sock It To Them' with a bronze or better |
| Berseker Splitter | Finish "The Hooded Man" under Easy difficulty or higher |
| Anya & The General Characters | Beat 1st Story Mission on Hard |
| Pulov Yuran | Beat the challenge Plainly Off His Rocker with a bronze or higher. |
| Private Jones | Complete "Something to Crow About" on Normal difficulty |
| Robot Louis Stevenson | Complete "You Take the High Road" on Easy difficulty |
| Sapper Johnson | Complete the Challenge "Sammy Hammy Namby Pamby" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Fat Characters Cheat | Complete "Commuting Will Kill You" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Stumpy | Complete "Front Loaded" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Time Assassin Cortez | Complete "You Take the High Road" on Normal difficulty |
| Tommy Jenkins | Complete all Elite League Arcade with Bronze or Higher |
| Warrant Officer Cain | Complete "Scotland the Brave" on Normal difficulty |
| Arthur Aching | Complete "Mansion of Madness" on Easy difficulty |
| Big Heads Cheat | Complete "Outbreak Hotel" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Big Hands Cheat | Complete the Challenge "Cortez Can't Jump" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Cascade Cheat | Complete "Zone Control" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Chinese Chef | Complete "Ninja Garden" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Comrade Papadov | Complete the Challenge "Lap it Up" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Deep Diver | Complete "Oh Shaol-o-Mio" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Dr. Lancet | Complete "What Lies Below" on Easy difficulty |
| Dr. Amy | Complete "U Genius, U-Genix" on Easy difficulty |
| Dr. Cortez | Complete "U Genius, U-Genix" on Normal difficulty |
| Elite Henchman | Complete the Challenge "Melon Heist" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Elite Henchwoman | Complete "The Khallos Express" on Normal difficulty |
| Inceptor | Complete "Breaking and Entering" on Easy difficulty |
| Jack Sprocket | Complete "Breaking and Entering" on Normal difficulty |
| Jacob Crow | Complete "Future Perfect" on Easy difficulty |
| Jared Slim | Complete "The Dead, the Bad and the silly" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Jungle Queen | Complete "Scotland the Brave" on Easy difficulty |
| Kitten Celeste | Complete "The Khallos Express" on Easy difficulty |
| Mordecai Jones | Complete "Mordecai Jones" on Easy difficulty |
| Mr. Underwood | Complete the Challenge "Glimpse of Stocking" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Neophyte Lucian | Complete "Zone Control" with a bronze medal or higher |
| Dr. Peabody | Get all golds or higher in Amateur League |
| Daisy Dismay | Beat all story missions in co-op |
| Jim Smith | Beat all story missions in co-op |
| Zombie Monkey | Earn Bronze, Silver, or Gold in Brain Drain Challenge |
| Human Gun Sounds cheat | Earn Bronze, Silver or Gold in Cat's Out Of The Bag challenge |
| Karma Crow | Beat last story mission on hard mode. |
| Timesplitter | Beat level 12 on easy |
| Henchman Harry Tipper | Beat level 3 on easy |
| Time Assasin | Beat level 12 on normal |
| Bricks | Complete 'Dont Loose Your Bottle' challenge |
| Monkey Gun | Complete 'Electro Chimp Discomatic' challenge |
| Henchman Cortez | Beat level 3 on normal |
| Victorian Crow | Complete all story levels on Normal or Hard difficulty |
| Insetick SK/10 | Complete Elite League with Golds |
| Jed | Complete all Challenges with Golds |
| Corporal Hart | Complete all story levels on normal or hard difficulty |
| Changeling | Complete Honorary League with Golds |
| Sewer Zombie | Complete all Challenges with atleast Silvers |
| Sister Faith | Complete Elite League with atleast Silvers |
| Gideon Gout | Complete Amateur League with atleast Silvers |
| Warrant Officer Keely | Complete Honorary League with atleast Silvers |
| Jo-Barf Creepy | Complete the Story level "What Lies Below" on atleast the Normal difficulty. |
| Prison Officer | Complete "Screw Loose" with atleast a Bronze Medal. |
| Neophyte Constance | Complete "The Freak Unique" with atleast a Bronze Medal. |
| Small Heads Cheat | Complete "A Pox Of Mox" with atleast a Bronze Medal. |
| Braces | Complete the Arcade League match "Old Blaggers" with atleast a Bronze Medal. |
| Mr.Fleshcage | Get a bronze or better on all challenges. |
| Slow Motion Deaths | Complete the Arcade level 'Rockets 101' |
Unlockable - Platinum Awards |
| Divine Immolation's Platinum Medal: Amatuer Aracade - One Gun Fun | Get 1st Place and at least 22 kills before time runs out |
| Vamping in Venice Platinum- Amatuer, On The Take | Kill all within 2 minutes |
| Pirates Gold Platinum-Amatuer-On The Take | Get 12 coins in under 2 minutes |
| Virtual Brutality PLatinum-Amatuer-On The Take | Complete all tasks in under 2 and a half minutes |
| Commuting Will Kill You Platinum-Amatuer-Nightstick | Kill all within 2:20 |
| Toy Soldiers Platinum-Amatuer-Nightstick | At least 34 kills and 1st |
| Dam Cold Out Here Platinum-Amatuer-Nightstick | Get 41 points in 2 minutes 45 seconds or less |
| Rockets 101 Platinum-Amatuer- One Gun Fun | Get at least 23 kill and 1st |
| Big Game Hunt Platinum-Amatuer- One Gun Fun | Get at least 45 kills |
| A Pox of Mox Platinum-Honorary-Dead Weight | Get 36 points in 2:30 or less |
| Freak Unique Platinum- Honorary-Dead Weight | Get 30 kills in 2:45 or less |
| Outbreak Hotel Platinum-Honorary-Fever Pitch | Stay Alive for 3 minutes |
| Missile Bunker-Honorary-Fever Pitch | Don't get touched at all. |
| Bag Slag Platinum-Honorary-Fever Pitch | Hold the bag for 3:15 or more |
| I Like Dead People Platinum-Honorary-Mode Madness | Get 44 kills or more before the time runs out |
| Zany Zepplin Platinum-Honorary-Mode Madness | Get 30 kills before the time runs out |
| Lip Up Fatty Platinum-Honorary-Mode Madness | Complete all goals in 3:30 or less |
| Screw Loose Platinum-Elite-Smash'N Grab | Get 25 points in 2:30 or less |
| Oh Shoal-O-Mio Platinum- Elite-Smash'N Grab | 40 kills in under 2 minutes |
| Front Loaded Platinum-Elite-Group Therapy | 10 kills in under 1:30 |
| Old Blaggers Platinum-Elite-Group Therapy | Score 5 times |
| Sock It To 'Em-Elite-Retro Chique | Complete all goals in under a minute |
| Astro Jocks Platinum-Amatuer-Smash 'N Grab | Kill all in 2 minutes or less |
